-"It's your problem, but it's not your fault"
-Talked to Beck and Aethan, or say, i was perched on a stool as they went around preparing food. Aethan was massaging the turkey.
-Almost every time i pay attention to the song playing over work's speakers, it cuts off to a different one. Don't get it.
-Saw two tripod dogs today, must be good luck
-Graffiti that said NOOSE RADIO, just looked like chalk on a spay and neuter clinic's brick wall.
-Big beautiful Lassie dog took interest in me
-Put my boot to the burn barrel and saw it smoke at the touch. Immediately pulled back.
-Aethan stopped everyone's conversations to loudly ask "Who the fuck is on the aux? We've been listening to this song on repeat forever," the song being the theme of a Mario Kart for Gamecube's loading screen.
-Cigarette packs and accompanying butts, picky wrappers, naked juice bottles, glass izzy bottles, bottle caps, sticker backs, lids, sticks, more cigarette packs, a thin cardboard sign on it written in pen "Cold, Wet 3 (backwards 3, as in &) Hungry Anything Helps Thank You 3 God Bless", butterfingers wrpper, shoe sole insert (bright yellow), buzz ball (bright yellow, red text).
-Older middle-aged man in car bobbing his head softly to something playing loudly enough i can hear it thru his car, but it's so warbled and discordant i have no fucking clue what it could be. Sounds similar (no metaphor) to dog barking, kid wailing, and a beat that made no fucking sense, like a public elementary school band class was just told to fucking go at it. There was enough to figure out this was supposed to be a song and not some corny carnival horror landscape. A plastic bag has invaded my personal space.
-I handed it (roach of a blunt i'd finished off) to him and asked if i could throw it in the fire, Beck ate it, looked at me with blank, dead eyes before saying "no one will ever believe you" and bursting into laughter
-"Heat death of the universe is the new black"
-Sadomasochism leads to growth
-As Tristan and i grinded on each other at the play party (not my ex), they said they could tell when i was "going in" and "going out" of the sexual flow, or whathaveyou, and said it was like a nice green tea when i was in; enjoyable, gentle, slightly energizing. I kept getting really distracted during our session by noise (Queer by Garbage came on) by my mind my desires my lust, both its direction and its general absence that night
-Made conversation with Robin, Avery, Tristan, Moe, Maxx, Willow, i think that's everyone. There was a lot of good and information and learning. I'll go back to play parties even if i don't fuck again, just to talk
-The woman, another shift lead, pointed to Carnell and said he's so shiny, no? What, do you buff it? (it=his balding forehead)
-Mohammed was walking up stairs ahead of me, we both held the railing. Once he coughed i stopped touching it.
-An elevator operator, a student here with cute round glasses, complimented my glasses as Daniel and i were taking trash out
-I keep remembering i need to get offline.
- We entered an elevator to help remove trash. We meaning myself and a total stranger, i think a student. The elevators were on manual, so an operator sat bored as shit in a stool. Elevator music was playing.
1: Who choses the music?
Elevator operator (different from previous), dryly: Me.
2: It's very fitting.
1: Sure is elevator music.
EO, deadpan: That's the playlist's name.
-Forgot to bring a notepad to work. May still be one somewhere in my backpack but i'm not too sure. need to surrender to circumstances.
Things people have done in the janitorial break hall:
-played religious sermons out loud
-played asmr out loud
-played poltiical speeches on Venezuela out loud
-read
-eaten
-sang, hummed, especially in the men's locker room
-played reels/tik toks out loud
-taken and made phone calls
-played card games (uno)
-drank
-laughed
-Mohammed (shift lead) was repulsed by my room in a house of six osting 800$/mo. He rightly believes a one-bedroom apartment should cost that much for a sole occupant.
-Learned that when you cry while dehydrated the redness, the puffiness, doesn't go away even after sleep
-When i talked about Bennington's lass makeup Judith asked me why the fuck i'd even want to be around them (ultra rich and drama prone). I'd already realized that'd be awful but hearing it from someone else as opposed to desire was new
-Using art as an excuse for continuing destruction, death, "progress" of capitol; the seafair air show is today with the Blue Angels roaring overhead. For some, that jet was one of the last things they heard before death