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Applied for many jobs, mended a large hole in the knee of my double-layered green carpenter pants, tidied my partner's home, brewed a lot of tea with honey from Greenlake, set up the lace and wood barrier between my and friend's side of the room, caught up with Hal, went to a bottomless wine/jazz/silent reading event and was the only attendee (nice & peaceful, read Anais Nin, hope the bartender's parakeet is okay), rearranged my half of the bedroom despite how fatigued i still am, had sex with brief violence for the first time since surgery (it rocked, wound up with marks), went to Neumos (Rat Utopia Experiment, Love So Deep, Daughters of Venus) for the first time- danceed a lot, wore headphones instead of earplugs and was happy about it, sewed patches onto my jacket ("can i have a cigarette?" "i don't have any" "your jacket is saying cigarettes")- went to Olympia for the first time (third wheeled for the first time too, it was good, i love my friends; went to Le Voyeur, the bands were Maneater, Nudity, and C-Average, all incredible. the venue itself is beautiful and eccentric, and i wish there were a hostel in town. i realized i didn't bother about my appearance much at all during it, good), took care of myself by picking up meds, did my partner's dishes before i left and before her friend arrived (thought of the poem After the Threesome, They Both Take You Home in feeling, not situation. Before the Twosome, They Both Clean Her Apartment?), shared my own joint and some kid begged my friend to let him finish it & was many times denied ("ma'am, are you sure?" "my guy, i'm absolutely sure"), drew two designs on a long-sleeve t-shirt, there's so much good music it drives me insane, cleaned my room, first show at drongo hq and god i loved it, realized in spite of everything awful in my life i'm living a life i used to dream of, witnessed a man use a gong plate with a vibrator (yes, the sex toy) on it while said gong plate was on top of a face-down electric guitar for a noise performance (drongo), rockhounded and felt joy like a child, nearly cried in gratitude for nature, took care of myself, wrestled my partner for almost three hours during intoxicated sex (BLAST), threw up because of alcohol + antibiotics, missed a therapy appointment while nursing myself out of a breakdown, joined friends on sledding adventure but only went down the hill once (it was icy snow, hard and hard to stop on. chest is still too sensitive after surgery), spent most of sled afternoon puttering around a really muddy riparian zone (a favorite term of mine) looking at very beautiful tree stumps with visible gnarly but elegant root systems, ate at Twedes Cafe (Twin Peaks diner!) with said sledding trip friends, communicated with partner, relieved i don't feel much pressure to update socials, trying to use said socials as actual Social media, went to a dance night- walked a too-high friend home- went back to dance afterwards, wore a skirt (two, layered) in public, tried new sex things with my partner, ran errands for my partner (bought her a dildo she sent me money for, broke ass...), did more of her dishes, loved the nudes she took of me while i rode her backwards, went to the farmer's market almost every saturday, revamped my resume, applied for innumerable more jobs, secured four job interviews (three to happen in february), showered almost daily, used the public library for printing, started a digizine, got inspired by a lot of graffiti, made dinners, missed Delaney who left the stube to take care of her child- Alex still works there though...
I'm extremely surprised we're already at the end of the month... usually January is nothing to me, a period of stagnation promised until my birthday, March 7. It's incredible how that wasn't true, i'm happy a lot of this month happened. Still need a job.
Trying to distance myself from spotify this month, proving to be a little difficult. Update: forfeited my membership early in the month, but it expired on the 20th. Figured out how to browse bandcamp, so it's not been terribly hard.
(Swamp Wife has a neocities!!)
The secret FP disc found on Finnish Postcard's webgame
Also, whatever breakbeat my roommate played driving us back from Twedes
Think That's Too Wise may be my favorite song of the month...
(Watched the electron beam video while high, found it musical) (Watched ctx's video twice in December, showed it to roommates. Still in awe) (Watched the seven wonders twice. Really enjoyed it)
Also, any nisipisa video. I love her.